A primary difference between parental conflict and family violence is the use of power and control. Family violence usually involves an intentional pattern of coercive behaviour for the purpose of exercising power and control over one or more members of a family. Parental conflict involves disagreements about parenting in which neither parent holds overarching power over the other, and neither parent experiences being fearful for their safety or wellbeing as a result of the other parent’s behaviour.[1]
Growing up in an environment where family violence is perpetrated can have a profound impact on a child’s life. In addition to risks of physical harm, family violence can impact a child’s well-being in a number of ways including:
· Brain development – research shows that children who are exposed to family violence brain development can be affected (increased stress responses and higher incidence of mental health issues) which affects almost every aspect of the child’s life and the person’s life as they grow older. The scars and impact of exposure to family violence can last a lifetime;
· Behavioural – Children have a higher chance of behavioural issues at school and with peers. Children who reach adolescence have a higher probability of taking drugs, excessive alcohol and engaging in risky sexual and other behaviour in addition to:
· Poor Emotional regulation and development;
· Social withdrawal, poor social skills; and
· Poor educational performance[2]
Parents who perpetrate family violence usually have parenting styles that:
· show a lack of warmth;
· use coercive and manipulative tactics;
· use harsh discipline;
· involve regular expressions of anger towards the children;
· lack of involvement in routine parenting tasks;
· attribute blame on others rather than taking responsibility for their own behaviour;
· undermine the other parent[3]
Reducing or eliminating children’s exposure to family violence has been demonstrated scientifically to positively impact children, their social relationships, and their physical and neurological development.
To give your child the best chance at life, parents can do all things possible to reduce or eliminate their children’s exposure to family violence.
Free YouTube Video by Family Court Judges: impact of family violence and conflict on babies and children:
What is Family Violence?
There are many different definitions of family violence used in different legal jurisdictions, different states and Territories of Australia and in different countries. One definition of family violence is detailed within section 4AB of the FAMILY LAW ACT 1975, the definition is intentionally broad and encompasses the following:
"(1) For the purposes of this Act, family violence means violent, threatening or other behaviour by a person that coerces or controls a member of the person's family (the family member ), or causes the family member to be fearful.
(2) Examples of behaviour that may constitute family violence include (but are not limited to):
(a) an assault; or
(b) a sexual assault or other sexually abusive behaviour; or
(c) stalking; or
(d) repeated derogatory taunts; or
(e) intentionally damaging or destroying property; or
(f) intentionally causing death or injury to an animal; or
(g) unreasonably denying the family member the financial autonomy that he or she would otherwise have had; or
(h) unreasonably withholding financial support needed to meet the reasonable living expenses of the family member, or his or her child, at a time when the family member is entirely or predominantly dependent on the person for financial support; or
(i) preventing the family member from making or keeping connections with his or her family, friends or culture; or
(j) unlawfully depriving the family member, or any member of the family member's family, of his or her liberty.
(3) For the purposes of this Act, a child is exposed to family violence if the child sees or hears family violence or otherwise experiences the effects of family violence.
(4) Examples of situations that may constitute a child being exposed to family violence include (but are not limited to) the child:
(a) overhearing threats of death or personal injury by a member of the child's family towards another member of the child's family; or
(b) seeing or hearing an assault of a member of the child's family by another member of the child's family; or
(c) comforting or providing assistance to a member of the child's family who has been assaulted by another member of the child's family; or
(d) cleaning up a site after a member of the child's family has intentionally damaged property of another member of the child's family; or
(e) being present when police or ambulance officers attend an incident involving the assault of a member of the child's family by another member of the child's family.
Disclaimer: This blog contains information, not legal advice. Legal information can become outdated. Consider obtaining legal advice tailored to your unique circumstances if you have child-related legal inquiries.
[1] Brock R, Kochanska G (2016) Interparental conflict, children’s security with parents, and long-term risk of internalizing problems: a longitudinal study from ages 2 to 10. Dev Psychopathol 28:45–54.
Davies PT, Hentges RF, Coe JL, Martin MJ, Sturge-Apple ML, Cummings EM (2016) The multiple faces of interparental conflict: implications for cascades of children’s insecurity and externalizing problems. J Abnorm Psychol 125:664–678.
Rhoades K (2008) Children’s responses to interparental conflict: a meta-analysis of their associations with child adjustment. Child Dev 79:1942–1956, Shelton K, Harold G (2008) Interparental conflict, negative parenting, and children’s adjustment: Bridging links between parents’ depression and children’s psychological distress. J Fam Psychol 22(5):712–724
[2] Harold G, Aitken J, Shelton K (2007) Inter-parental conflict and children’s academic attainment: a longitudinal analysis. J Child Psychol Psychiatry 48:1223–1232
[3] The Impact of Family Violence on Children: https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pubs/fv-impact-children
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